Garbage Day: CANADA’S Netflix, Get it or F**k it Part 2: Why F**k It?

Written by Shawn Lotte August 22, 2011

Welcome to Garbage Day where I, Doctor Lotte, will talk about things that I don’t like, and some things I do, but mostly I will talk about shit. Relax, enjoy and don’t forget to take out your trash.

Today’s Garbage: CANADA’S Netflix. Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Get iIt.

Last week I told you why you should get Netflix. This week I am going to give you reasons why you shouldn’t get Canada’s Netflix. If for some reason, that I cannot fathom at this time, you didn’t read my last article on Netflix you can read it here with this link:

WHATEVER! This was my first attempt at Photoshop in 7 years. GET OFF MY BACK!

Why Fuck it:

5. The movies rarely change.

The roster rarely gets updated, and once you have gone through the selection and picked all the movies you want to see, you’ll find yourself looking at movies you never wanted to see and say something like: “Hmmm,  ‘The Shadow’ with Alec Baldwin huh? Well it’s better than homework, or spending time with the kids I guess.”

This was a sick movie right? RIGHT?

4. Watch them before they’re gone.

Over time some movies and TV have disappeared from the site. DON’T FREAK OUT! As far as I can see it’s only been a few movies and a couple of TV shows. Most notably Kenny vs. Spenny where now we only have season 2, and not 1, 3, and 4.

3. TV shows never change.

I said the movies rarely update, and it’s true. You’ll get a new movie every so often but a big update is like once every 3 months. In regards to the TV shows, well they never update. I have watched the TV column for about 2 months now and not one new show has appeared. In fact, the new arrivals section for TV has disappeared altogether. It fucking sucks too cause in the States they have all the seasons of Power Rangers and you that would be the fucking shit to watch. THE FUCK SHIT!

God, they're so cool. I WANT THIS SHOW NOW!

2. Bandwidth whore.

I said it earlier, but I think this is one thing that sucks about Netflix, and our state of internet consumption. As it stands, I can use up to about 3-4 GB a day watching Netflix. I don’t normally, but it’s easy to do. If you’re having a movie night and plan on watching a lot of movies, then you might reach a number as high as 7GB. Now for those who have a smaller plan then you might want to change it. You’ll get hit with overage charges like you won’t believe. For those who have been grandfathered into the unlimited plan then go to town cause you are lucky S.O.B’s.

1. Some real humdingers.

The biggest problem with Netflix isn’t with it’s price, or bandwidth vacuum sucking abilities, no, it’s the selection of the movies. Oh man, sometimes I wonder if Netflix was just a dumping ground for movie studios didn’t want being found on iTunes. Seriously, some of the movie selection really makes it hard to want to keep the subscription. Movies like “Skeleton Key 2” which is not a sequel to the 2005 flick with Kate Hudson but has the name ANYWAY! How about every B rate movie that stars Steven Seagal, Val Kilmer, and Wesley Snipes just in case you’re feeling up to some real shit. Best yet, just take a trip into the Horror section and you’ll see 1-2 pages of decent-ok movies, and then for the rest of the 5 pages it’s some of the worst shit to ever grace the screen. I haven’t heard of some of that shit; like what the hell is “2010 Moby Dick” or “8213 Gacy House.” WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE MOVIES!? Ah, sometimes seeing those films on Netflix makes me hate the $8 I pay.


Should you get Netflix? I have constantly thought about getting rid of it, but just as I’m about the pick up the phone to cancel I see some new movies arrive that I haven’t seen. I look through the new movies and tell myself I should wait another month, see if they get anything else and if they don’t I’ll cancel. I’ve had the damn thing for over 6 months now so maybe I’ll never cancel. The truth is my friends, Netflix is a pretty good deal. You get some shows that you might want to watch, and at least 100+ good movies. Unfortunately there is about 200+ shit movies but you don’t have to watch those. At the end of the day it’s worth checking out especially if you don’t have cable, like me, and want something to watch while you eat or fornicate; I just don’t recommend the movie “Martyrs” or “The Human Centipede” cause those will definitely ruin the mood.

Rating: Get it.

Love, Shawn

Oh, and as for Skeleton Key 2, well the best way to describe it is to show it to you. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this movie.

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