Top 5 Movies I Should Have Downloaded (Instead of Paid For).

Written by Shawn Lotte February 23, 2011

Top 5 Movies I Shouldn’t Have Paid For.

Written by Shawn Lotte

I am not an advocate of illegal downloading, in fact I just don’t do it because I feel it’s wrong to steal material that someone worked hard to make, but that’s just me. What this boils down to is paying for everything I want to see, and sometimes, for things I don’t want to see. There are times when I wish I hadn’t paid the money and maybe downloaded them instead. Here are the top 5 films for which I wish I hadn’t paid money. It’s not that I didn’t like them, it’s that they were not worth the money.

 

 

 

#5: Dragonball: Evolution. (5/10)

This was a movie I did not have a lot of hope for. At first Stephen Chow was to direct, but he backed out and became a producer, and brought Final Destination’s James Wong to helm. It’s not that he is a bad director, (I really like the FD movies), but I felt that 20th Century Fox making this movie more accessible to everyone by making Goku a high school kid, and muddling the plot into something that resembles… ummm, you know I can’t even think of something that would go here.

Who needs to see Sin City when you have Marky Mark.

#4:  Max Pain (3/10)

Ok, this movie is bad, but I was still going to end up seeing it cause I was a fan of the first game. Alas, no amount of Marky Mark could save this movie from being a disjointed mess of incoherent babble smothered in a layer of nonsensical banality. That last sentence I just wrote was smarter than the entire film. BURN IN HELL.


Next up is Cheaper by the Dozen 3: FUCK THE SYSTEM.

#3: Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (5.5/10)

The things we do for love, or at least sex. My now ex-girlfriend really liked the first movie so she decided that it would be a great movie for us to see together. Well, there is a reason she is now my ex-girlfriend, and no it’s not because she insisted we see this movie together, although it didn’t help. This film wasn’t terrible, justrun of the mill boring slapstick that never amounted to anything other than a cash grab. I should have never seen this movie in the theatres and I never got laid that night. Sometimes things just don’t work out.

 

 

This movie looked so fucking epic. What the fuck happened? Oh well, time to get fat.

#2: The Last Airbender (5/10)

This is a double wammy for me because not only was this a shit movie, but it was also in 3D. Anyone who has seen the show, or read my stuff, knows I hate 3D and this movie sucked for 3D. I am not going to go into why it was bad, cause trust me a 6% on rottentomatoes.com does not lie. It was that I paid 16 bucks to see it. I should have taken the critics’ word for it, but like a sucker I wanted to see how they butchered the cartoon, and mission accomplished, it was totally butchered. If I was ten I would have liked it, but I’m not and I didn’t.

 

Where were you when this movie came out? BETTER NOT BE IN THE THEATRE!

#1: Alien Vs. Predator (1/10)

So remember when I said that not all of these movies are bad movies? Well I lied cause the number one movie I wish I had not paid for is one of my least favorite films of all time. I went to see this shit because I am a big fan of both franchises, and what did I get: a big pile of PG-13 awesome, or as we Canadians know it, 14A. This movie sucked shit, and I fucking hate it, and to this day I will not own it, look at it, or smell it. Eat a dick AvP I wish I had seen you on a shitty laptop with shitty quality cause that’s how movies are meant to be seen. That’s it for this week’s top 5. Check out next week when I will list the top five characters to be taken out like a bitch in movies. FUCK YEA!

 

Love,

Shawn Lotte


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