Toddler Film Suffers a Big Boo-Boo at the Box-office

Written by Megan Alexander September 13, 2012

 One of the most Terrifying Movies to Come out This Fall

As many of us know, box-office records were being broken all over this summer, thanks to a couple of good stories about saviors in tights. But now that summer is over, our cinematic superheroes are hanging up their costumes until the next sequel, and moviegoers are now finding themselves in a new fall season. Though a few Oscar contenders will be coming out this fall, this is definently the time of year when horror movies rule.  With the frightening film “The Possession making a killing at the box-office, and other upcoming horror films being released soon, such as: “Last House on the Left”, “V/H/S”, “Silent Hill: Revelations 3D”, and “Paranormal Activity 4”, it is clear that superheroes and action-adventures are out, and villains and terrifying suspense are in.

Even some animated kids films that are coming out this fall will be playing along a little bit with the scary movie genre, just expect then to bring more laughs than screams with films like “ParaNorman”, “Hotel Transylvania”, and “Frankenweenie”. However, there is one kiddy flick that has already come out with a concept so scary that almost no parent dared to take his or her child to see it, and that movie was “The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure” (the horror!).  In fact, this film frightened parents so much, that it only made $448,131 its opening weekend, which makes it the worst box-office opening EVER!!!

How bad is $448,131, really?

“The Oogieloves”, which officially has been recognized as the worst box-office bomb of all time for a movie with a wide release (over 2,000 theaters), had a budget of about 20 million dollars and about another 40 million dollars was spent on marketing alone (this was money that was clearly well spent). To breakdown what a horrible performance this really is here is a fun facts from; “the film had such a low showing that it had a per-theater average that went as low as $47, this means over the full 3-day weekend, the total gross for the film averaged about only $207 dollars per theater”. To make your jaw drop even farther, the site claims, “if each location played “Oogieloves” five times a day on one screen at an average ticket price of $7, that would translate to fewer than two people per showing.” This means that it is quite possible that many of these showings had only one kid and one very loving parent.

Marketing Geniuses?

“The Oogieloves” was marketed to children and their parents as a dance-along, sing-along, and interactive-family adventure. Dancing, Singing, and being interactive while watching a movie, unless it is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, I don’t think that many people, are going to want to participate. It is hard to believe that no one working or marketing the film (though,keep in mind they were the ‘creative’ geniuses behind Teletubbies),had the common sense to realize that not many parents will be willing to take their child to a movie that is supposed to replicate going to a loud and obnoxious concert (let the Wiggles and Barney worry about that Hollywood). A good movie experience is supposed to be enjoyable, relaxing, and most importantly QUIET!! In fact, I cannot understand why a parent would pay to take their child to a movie where their kids, and other rugrats are encouraged to sing-along  (IE: scream) and dance-along (IE: run around), to these three bigheaded hybrids of Barney and H.R Pufnstuf without puffing any stuff.

To the Very Loving but Crazy Parents

It is clear from the box-office numbers that not many parents wanted to waste their money, time, and sanity by taking their children to this cutesy calamity of a film. However, having said that, the film did make some money, which mean some parents did take their kids to see the awful “Oogieloves”, even though they might have been the only ones in the theater (not quite concert experience). So, I say that the bravest moviegoers over the past long weekend were not the thousands who went to see “The Possession, but were the very few parents who sat through this sing and dance along nightmare.

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