Movie Review: “The Vow”

Written by Rachel Ganzewinkel February 13, 2012

If The Notebook was terrible it would be this movie.

The Vow is yet another Nicholas Sparks book adaptation about cheesy romantic love with a crazy, outlandish obstacle in the way of obtaining it. If that sounds familiar that’s probably because it’s pretty much the plot of any romantic movie that has ever existed.

Apparently it’s based off a true story of a woman who does lose her memory after getting into a car accident and her husband tries to overcome the odd and overwhelming obstacle of helping her remember who he is and who they were together. I’m going to assume the reality of their situation is not as lame as the movie version.

Rachel McAdams plays Paige, the woman who loses her memory. She’s essentially reprising her role from The Notebook, yet another young woman in the perfect love story any person could ask for. Channing Tatum is Leo, her husband who tries to bring back her memory of their like totally super amazing marriage and love life where tickling apparently gets her off.

The Notebook essentially runs along the same lines as this movie. A woman loses her memory of the bestest relationship ever and the man has to help her remember their amazing life together, complete with hardships, so they can be together, happily, forever and ever.

I just made that sound lame but in The Notebook the characters had stunning chemistry (well, who can’t have chemistry with Ryan Gosling?). Their characters were actually real and not simply shadows of stereotypes. Paige is a vegetarian artist who doesn’t talk to her troubled family. As for Channing Tatum, he has his moments, but in no way can he pull off being a sensitive musician type. His neck to head ratio is far too big for him to play anything but military men or cops convincingly.

The movie itself made me laugh. Only because every romance movie stereotype popped up throughout the movie.

Stereotype #1– Chance meeting that leads to one of the most glorious and gag-inducing cheesy romances.

Stereotype #2– Small, sentimental wedding that seems impromptu to make it apparent that these two characters love each other so much they can’t wait to be married.

Stereotype #3– The couple are artists who live in a giant, well-furnished apartment in the city, but are somehow portrayed as broke. But as long as they have each other, right?

Stereotype #4– Some unfortunate accident causes an obstacle to their love.

Stereotype #5– A lot of distressing shots of the man struggling to regain the love of his life. There is even a scene where Channing Tatum is sitting in a dark room in his recording studio, playing the acoustic guitar because he is JUST. THAT. SAD.

Stereotype #6– Some douchebag gets dramatically punched in the face because the guy who loves his girl is just super frustrated another man is in the picture.

Stereotype #7– The couple breaks up for a bit because things are JUST SO HARD. *tear

Stereotype #8– A lot of sentimental stuff happens with music reminiscent of The Fray playing in the background.

Stereotype #9– The happiest of endings.

Look at how silly in love they are

That’s not even a spoiler. If you don’t know those things going into a romantic movie, especially a Nicholas Sparks adaptation, you are probably a 12 year old girl. I wouldn’t even recommend a 12 year old girl watching this movie because it would set up unrealistic expectations in a relationship. A couple that has never argued? A couple that seems perpetually happy in a marriage that is just all unicorns and rainbows? Those concepts are ridiculous. Maybe some people find that in real life, but then these movies endorse the fact that when love gets hard and they argue you should just give up, which is what happens in The Vow. Then the characters reflect on stuff and then they’re back together happier than ever.

Ugh. I’m bored and annoyed by writing this. Watching it was pretty much the same. If you like stuff like this, then by all means go watch it. But if you like movies with believable characters and an actual plot you can’t figure out before you even see the movie; I would then suggest skipping this entirely.

My Rating: 3/10

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About Rachel Ganzewinkel

Rachel loves movies and writing and has found the perfect amalgamation in writing movie reviews for We Eat Films. In between movie watching and the real-life world of work, she enjoys tea, reading, writing, and wearing over-size sweaters (while occassionally doing some of these simultaneously).

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