Christmas is the time of year where I like to relax and enjoy myself. I’ll pick up on activities I couldn’t do during the school year, help with holiday baking, and of course, watch Christmas specials and films. I love watching other people screw up their holiday season on the screen, because it isn’t happening to me. I’ve had my fair share of Christmas blunders, of course, but they’re part of my memories, just like the memorable scenes in Christmas specials. Because there are so many comedic scenes, it was hard to narrow down just five Christmas blunders.
5. “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (Bill Melendez, 1965)
Poor Charlie Brown (Peter Robbins), never able to please anybody. All he did was buy a small tree because he couldn’t afford the extravagant one demanded by Lucy (Tracy Stratford). Is that really so bad? Apparently for his classmates. In good-old-fashioned Classical Hollywood style, of course, the tree blossoms when the kids sing Christmas carols. It really proves that Christmas is about giving, because they should’ve appreciated that he bought a tree in the first place. Storyline aside, “A Charlie Brown Christmas” also has a nostalgic soundtrack that is great to listen to when you’re not watching the film.
4. “6Teen”-“How the Rent-A-Cop Stole Christmas” (Tom McGillis and Jennifer Pertsch, 2007)
I watched a lot of “6Teen” as a teenager, but never understood why it was G-rated. This episode proves my point. Caitlin (Brooke D’Orsay) as a snowman accidently gropes another mom’s breasts, but everyone thought it was Jonesy. Jen (Megan Fahlenbock) unwraps all the less fortunate children’s presents, and everyone lands in the mall jail. Lovely. The note Jonesy (Terry McGurrin) left on the travel atlas he bought for Nikki (Stacey Depass) landed on an edible candy cane underwear set. Worse of all, her mom saw it! Just from leaving a present to be wrapped at the mall, who knew? Luckily, she finds it and gives it to Nikki. Yet, this is another moment proving the point that not all cartoons are for children, even ones (supposedly) meant for general audiences.
3. “That 70s Show”- “The Best Christmas Ever” (David A. Trainer, 1998)
“That 70s Show” has a couple of Christmas specials, but this one’s my favourite. It’s the perfect example of a Christmas party gone wrong. Kelso (Ashton Kutcher) uses the leftover money for Jackie’s (Mila Kunis) hot rollers, not realizing everyone else was giving presents. Ms. Burkhart and her friends get drunk off of rum-spiked punch thanks to Laurie (Lisa Robin Kelley) trying to sabotage Eric’s party. Other than the expected giggly, tipsy behaviour, nothing too crazy happens. Never mind, Jackie reveals Hyde’s (Danny Masterson) crush on Donna (Laura Prepron), when she clearly has a thing with his best friend. Not exactly the ideal secret Santa gift.
2. “Home Alone” (Chris Columbus, 1990)
This film is every parent’s nightmare, forgetting your children before going on vacation. If I were the mother of Kevin McAllister (Macaulay Culkin) I’d especially be worried. All of the tricks he does on the criminals are dangerous and uber-violent, but at least he’s reunited with his family at the end. There are four more films after this but I’ve only seen the first two. At this point, I’m not sure what’s more concerning: a family realizing they forget their offspring too late or that the same plot had to be repeated five times. I’m aware that from the third film-on doesn’t deal with Kevin, but still.
1. “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (Jerimiah S. Chechik, 1989)
If it were up to me, I’d name this “Murphy’s Law: Christmas Edition” because every possible bad thing that can happen, does in this film. The turkey deflates, the cat disintegrates, a rabid squirrel escapes the tree, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) falls while assembling the lights, and many more to come. Think your holidays are a zoo? Watch this film. You’ll realize that your family gatherings are much more relaxing while laughing and feeling glad that you are not the Griswold family.