‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
Then all of a sudden, a great noise did appear
when Uncle broke out the scotch, wine, and beer.
I know what you’re thinking, “What kind of poem is this?
Where are the stockings, and presents, and things about Christmas?”
Keep reading, just trust me, for it’s all in this list,
but please pay attention, this is a list with a twist.
This Holiday season, I have a game for you to play,
simply watch these movies and drink when I say.
Cuddle up on the couch with your red cups and your glasses,
and drink and drink more ’till you’re flat on your asses.
5. Bridget Jones’s Diary
This one is for the girls who don’t have it quite together,
who trip, and who curse, and aren’t light as a feather.
The Holidays are hard, especially for Miss Jones
who desperately wants a man, maybe even some moans
But ladies (and gents), watch this movie with care,
for I want you to drink whenever you hear a swear.
That’s right, you heard me – every foul word.
You will be drinking until the screen becomes blurred.
4. How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Whoville is in trouble with Mr. Grinch to fear,
when all they want are presents and some jolly Christmas cheer.
With the help of Cindy Lou Who, they save Christmas just in time,
while the narrator follows, always dropping some rhymes.
Which brings me to our game, and your task for this movie.
Remember, do what I tell you, don’t be getting choosy.
Whenever you hear a rhyme, take just a sip
(anymore than that and you won’t feel your lips)
3. When Harry Met Sally
For those who think men and women can just be friends,
looking back at these two I’m sure that’s just pretend.
It took some awkward sex and some fighting in between,
but in the end our hearts were warmed as their kisses filled the screen.
I just can’t get over all the hair when this was made,
it’s a wonder with those perms that anyone got laid.
So drink up when you see one, but please never look back,
if that hair comes back in style, no one’s jumping in the sack.
Being raised by Elves, Buddy is kind of a child
and when confronted with New York he went a little wild.
But nothing compares to Will Ferrell in those tights,
so when you glimpse his…package… drink with all your might.
1. Love Actually
When you want to say “I love you” but you know you won’t,
take some advice from these Brits, because they know something we don’t.
When it comes to love, a lot can stand in the way,
but looking at these lovebugs, you’ll never want to stray.
I know at this point you’re probably completely smashed,
but there’s just one more then you’ll be asleep in a flash.
As I do love it when Hugh Grant shakes his booty,
to drink when you see him, that is your duty!