Top 5 Movie Universes to Avoid

Written by Leo Panasyuk August 11, 2013

Constantine_Hell

There’s no question that films can sometimes create – or adapt – amazing universes so much so that you actually wish to be a part of them. I mean, which one of us hasn’t wanted to be a student at Hogwarts or have the ability to fly an X-Wing? Sometimes, fiction just trumps reality. Then there are those times when you watch a film and think, “I would hate to be in that place”; because just as well as Hollywood can astound us with marvelous and jaw-dropping universes beyond our wildest imaginations, they can also strike abject terror into our hearts and make us never want to fall asleep again out of fear that some scary guy in a striped sweater might try and kill us in our dreams.

5. Libria from “Equilibrium” (Kurt Wimmer, 2002)

Emotions and expression? No. Low-flying potentially hazardous zeppelins? Yes.

Emotions and expression? No. Low-flying potentially hazardous zeppelins? Yes.

“Equilibrium” is set in the fictional city-state of Libria and if you’re a fan of the fine arts, sunshine, emotions and/or even adorable puppies, this is not the place for you. Thanks to the efforts of the authoritative Tetragrammaton Council, any and all forms of expression – be they art, music and/or books – are strictly banned and even being found in possession of one of these forbidden items is punishable by death. It’s quite simply a boring, barren place where emotions and feelings are suppressed by a daily, prescribed drug and policed by an elite squad of officers skilled in something you’d never want to be on the receiving end of – Gun Kata. Observe:

4. Vampire World from “Daybreakers” (Michael and Peter Spierig, 2009)

Uncle Sam wants you... but mostly for your blood.

Uncle Sam wants you… but mostly for your blood.

Thanks to “Twilight,” vampires are no longer seen as terrifying monsters in capes with thick Russian accents and a craving for blood – your blood, that is. But thankfully, amid the slew of sparkly-vampire lore, we’ve been able to see some real, classic vampires. The world presented in “Daybreakers” is a terrifying one as it’s completely inhabited by vampires and it’s humans that are hunted and milked for their precious, precious blood. There’s even a breed of mutated, blood-depraved vampires who are even more despised than the humans and with that amalgamation of things, this is definitely one universe to avoid.

3. Gotham City from “Batman Begins,” “The Dark Knight” and “The Dark Knight Rises” (Christopher Nolan, 2005-2012)

At least it's not as crazy as Metropolis...

At least it’s not as crazy as Metropolis…

Now, don’t get me wrong with this one – I’d relish in the opportunity to live in a city where I’ll always be protected by an ever-vigilant billionaire who dresses like a bat and beats criminals senseless. But as for the numerous baddies said hero would have to fight – such as a psychopathic clown and a buffed-up terror machine – I think I’d take my chances elsewhere. I guess life may be a bit difficult with constant threats of city-wide destruction or exploding hospitals or having my car crushed by a tumbling tank/APC hybrid roaring down the street. It’d just make you feel a little insecure at times, y’know?

2. Scum Town from “Hobo with a Shotgun” (Jason Eisener, 2011)

Not exactly everyone's favourite vacation hot-spot.

Not exactly everyone’s favourite vacation hot-spot.

The name here says it all. This town, likely located somewhere in the beautiful land of Nova Scotia, is a slum of drugs, violence, crazies and hobos – one of whom has a shotgun with which he deals cold, hard justice… one shell at a time. The fact that even the police in this universe are owned by the brutal de-facto ruler of the town, ‘Drake’ (no, not “Degrassi” Drake), and can do nothing to stop the vile crimes and vile-er criminals from running rampant in the streets should be reason enough to stay well away from Scum Town. And if you needed any more convincing, please feast your eyes on these two lovely citizens:

1. The World from “The Cabin in the Woods” (Drew Goddard, 2012)

This place is the stuff nightmare's nightmares are made of.

This place is the stuff nightmare’s nightmares are made of.

In case you haven’t seen “The Cabin in the Woods,” do yourself a favour and see it now. For those who have seen it, you know that the entire “cabin in the woods” thing is a millennia-old program designed to see if humans have what it takes to not be horrifically eradicated by killer robots, giant snakes and some guy who looks like Pinhead but isn’t. Why would you want to avoid this universe? Because the people who hold the fate of the entire human race in their hands are a bunch of teenagers – a bunch of sexed-up, drugged-up and boozed-up teenagers. The fact that they’ve been able to save humanity time and time again since the inception of the program is nothing short of a miracle. So, yeah. Unless any of the above sounds like something up your alley, I’d say stay away from this universe at all costs.

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About Leo Panasyuk

A fan of all things film, Leo never really lets himself get tied down to one specific genre. He's always interested in watching new and old films and especially loves the IMAX format. When he's not choosing which movie to watch next, he's studying Film and English at Western University.

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