Top 5 Presents: Charlie Sheen is Bat-Shit Crazy, and Here are his Best Movies

Written by Shawn Lotte March 07, 2011

Top 5 Presents: Charlie Sheen is Bat-Shit Crazy, and Here are his Best Movies

By Shawn Lotte

Winning? Fuck yea!

 

Yes we get it. Charlie Sheen has lost his mind, but it wasn’t always this way. He used to make good movies, and sometimes not-so-good movies. There was a time when his name meant more than drunken clown. Unfortunately those times are behind us and we have to face that facts that the bright-eyed and bushy-tailed youth that mesmerized us in movies like Red Dawn, is now a crazy, soon to be Gary Busy, lunatic. I want to remember the good ol’ days and list what I think are his best movies. Let’s win this shit.

 

I had an uncle who looked like that baseball. Oh Uncle Baseball, where are you now?

#5: Major League (7/10)

I don’t remember much about this film but I remember liking it and really liking Mr. Sheen’s character as “The Wild Thing” and that song playing when he came out into the dome. I remember it fondly and can’t for the life me understand why he wasn’t in Major League 3: Back to the Minors.

 

#4: Being John Malkovich (8/10)

Not to start praising this film or anything, but it is a great flick that everyone needs to see just because it is really creative and funked up. With that aside Mr. Sheen’s role is, well… he plays himself and he helps Mr. Malkovich understand the conundrum he is facing (I’m trying not to ruin anything in the film). I don’t look back on this film and say, “Wow Mr. Sheen really gave it on that one,” but rather I think he made the film a little better by his absurd appearance.

I just watched the trailer again before posting this, man I was a dumb kid. This movie looks like shit.

 

#3: All Dogs go to Heaven 2 (6/10)

This one is important to me, and not because it’s a childhood favorite or anything. Actually, it’s the first movie in which I noticed who Mr. Sheen was. I knew him from movies like Hot Shots (1 and 2) but did not know his name. It wasn’t until I saw this movie that I wanted to know who played Charlie the Dog. Incidentally, I thought Mr. Sheen played Charlie in both movies, but I made a fool of myself when I got into an argument with someone telling me it was Burt Reynolds in the first movie. Yeah right, like the Bandit himself would be the voice of a cartoon dog. Bullshit. Well I was wrong, and it won’t be the last time. Just look at the next movie.

 

#2: Loaded Weapon 1 (7/10)

OK, OK, I know this rank should go to Platoon but I haven’t seen that movie. Now, before you start exiting your browsers in disgust, or search for my name and begin the nerd fire balling on Facebook, let me ask you this. Is Platoon really that great? Really? Come on.  Is it? Fine, maybe it is, but I just haven’t gotten around to seeing it. I will see it, I promise, and when I do I’ll get back to the whole 3 people who read my shit and apologize to them personally. Oh, and Mr. Sheen plays a valet in Loaded Weapon and he’s amazing! Or rather, the movie is funny and he is in it. Whatever, get off my back.

 

#1: Duh, WALL STREET (1987) 9/10

Yes we all saw this coming, but really it is his best movie. (Aside from Platoon, but we won’t go through that again.) I love this movie and think it’s an interesting look into the world of business in the 80’s. I remember seeing it in Economics class and being the only one who really enjoyed it, and that’s a shame because it’s damn fine entertainment. Watch it, and enjoy what I argue it Mr. Sheen’s best performance. It’s weird to see him then and see him now. What a fuck up.

 

That’s it for this week. I know I promised an article about characters who die like bitches in movies, but I am doing something special for that one so you 3 will have to wait. Thanks for reading and check me out on my next written catastrophe.

 

Love,

 

Shawn Lotte

Oh and just in case you missed it check out the insanity that is Charlie Sheen. GOD OF THUNDER!

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