Top 5 Shows in Need of Cancellation

Written by Jesse Gelinas June 21, 2012

I have previously listed televisions top 5 missteps in cancelling promising series. Now we count down the top 5 shows in desperate need of the axe. For our purposes, I will not be including any reality-based shows. So, without any ado, let’s get on with it.

WARNING: Possible series spoilers below

 

5. “The Big Bang Theory” (After season 3): You’re not “Friends”. Stop trying to be “Friends”.

I loved this show. It was another geek-oriented show perfectly tailored to my needs as a sun-deprived subterranean basement dweller. Nerds acting nerdy and making reference to every sci-fi, fantasy, and comic name I know. Brilliant! Of course there was the obligatory romance in the forefront to keep the show grounded and mainstream; however, after season 3 this became a crutch, and later a respirator. Season 4 was when the decline truly began as newer cast members were added to the main cast and began detracting attention from our loveable nerds. Now they all have girlfriends (yeah, sure), and one of them just got married (they spent an entire season building toward it). The heart of the show is lost, and we’re left with a burnt out husk.

4. “Dexter” (After season 4): You forgot how themes work!

 The Dexter writers have always had a strange routine in their arcs. Dexter usually begins asking questions about the season’s theme before encountering the Big Bad who should have planted the questions in him- (I think only “Power Rangers” followed the same formula). Aside from that the show is now just straining for credulity. After three solid seasons, and the powerhouse that was season 4, Dexter is just… boring. The cast seems tired and the plot is just getting (more) ludicrous. This past season is just now touching on an arc that should have occurred two years ago, and in season 7 Dexter is set to take on the Russian mob. Joy.

3. “Tyler Perry’s House of Payne” (pre-pilot): Why do people let you do things?

I don’t get Tyler Perry. I don’t get his movies. I don’t get his comedy. I don’t get him. If you do, good for you; you must be a better person than me. This show is simply grating though. It has never been funny. It is a throwback to an era of comedy that rightfully died pretty much right after Cosby stopped making series with his name in the title. The series is built on cliché, upon cliché, upon cliché, and none of it works. The laugh track is obnoxious and works not to punctuate the jokes, but to actually point them out. Not that it’s needed mind you. The actors throw everything they have into each horrible line to make sure it’s obvious they’re trying to be funny with great catchphrases like “What the hell?” and “Ya heard me!” Does anyone else realize that the reason Will Smith gets away with crap like “Aw Hell no!” is because he started it in the mid-90s?

2. “Pokemon” (post-151 Pokedex): Stop confusing children.

This series came out swinging. It wasn’t screwing around. The first season had weekly episodes and spanned almost two full years. When I was nine, I could name each and every one of the 151 Pokemon making up the original Pokedex… shut up. Of course less than a year later the show stopped being ‘cool’, but I hung in there and watched faithfully for two seasons. I watched Ash walk out from Pallet Town at the start of his journey, and I watched him come back safely after season 2. Ready for the plot-device of the century? “Say Ash, did you know if you walk out the other side of town there’s a whole other country with a 100 new Pokemon in it?” Eat your heart out Marco Polo. Irreverent geography and physics aside, A HUNDRED NEW POKEMON? Seriously? I was done. I recently checked out the latest incarnation of Pocket Monsters, with 648 of the little bastards, and counting. Die.

1. “The Simpson’s” (more than a decade ago): It’s time, friends. Let go.

The Simpson’s are television icons. They are legends, gods, and inspiration for two, three, maybe four generations of li’l bastards and saxophonists. This is maybe the only show you can present to a kid at age six that they’ll still watch at sixteen. It has, however, seen better days. Sadly, after twenty-three years, and many good times, “The Simpson’s” have lost their way. Actually, this happened a decade ago, but no one has told the writers unfortunately. What used to be a touching cartoon for the whole family, filled with hearty laughs and brilliant satire has been reduced to increasingly feeble antics and innumerable guest actors. Each new episode may as well be titled ‘The Simpsons meet —-‘. The show has not had a great season since 9, nor a classic episode since 12 (“Shut up! That’s why!). Matt Groening once said he wanted to make enough episodes to air every day of the year. Matt, you passed that mark ages ago. You don’t owe us anything. You can rest now.

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About Jesse Gelinas

After years attempting to escape the Matrix, Jesse has accepted his fate as a writer and Senior Editor. Now that's he finished with his film degree, it gives him something to do while waiting for the machines to get careless.

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