Top 5 Shows That Should Have A Christmas Episode

Written by Spencer Sterritt December 13, 2011

It may not be routinely snowing yet, but the Christmas season is upon us! Yay, or not so yay if you’re like me and Christmas becomes an absolute nuisance after a week of Christmas jingles and shopping. But even for me, Christmas episodes of my favorite TV shows can bring a smile to my face, even on the darkest day of all (December 23rd – everyone’s shrill, and frantic, and the songs have taken distressing to a new level). Unfortunately, some of my favorite shows don’t have Christmas episodes, due to airing schedules or timeline continuity within the show. But damn all that, here’s five shows that should have a Christmas episode, even if it makes no sense.

5) The Secret Circle

CW’s new show about a coven of adolescent witches is surprisingly good. I thought nothing of it before the premier, but the pilot was better than expected and kept on getting better and better. After only nine episodes however, it’s becoming clear that the show lacks a certain amount of bat-shit insanity that most CW shows pull of quite well – like Supernatural having an episode that starts with aliens, and then you find out it is actually leprechauns.
If you put Santa into an episode of The Secret Circle though, PRESTO! Instant Christmas magic! Also, since the show is about magic, it could totally tie in about how Santa can seemingly fly around the world in one night and have reindeer that fly. Finally everyone can have answers about the mystery of Santa Claus.

4) American Horror Story

Don't they look like they need a huge dose of Santa?

Why not have Santa in American Horror Story? Ryan Murphy’s proven to not give two flying fucks about continuity or realism or proper episode structure, so having Santa appear might be one of the least weird things in the episode.
Honestly, I think American Horror Story needs a Christmas episode because even with the showing being incredibly weird, it’s a very boring kind of weird. There are no surprises, scares, or shocks. But seeing Santa dressed up in the Leather Man suit, that would be all three.
(I really do hope they never put Santa in the Leather Man suit though. I like being scared, but not scarred).

3) Dexter

Similar to American Horror Story, Dexter has gone off the rails. I haven’t watch it since season 4, but my roommate, and fellow We Eat Films reviewer Brian Wishart (you should totally check him out! I swear he didn’t force me to insert this mention of him) has kept me up to date, and Lord, does it sound bleak – with plots going no where, characters behaving erratically, and over all nothing making much sense. So, Santa would fit perfectly within this season…or the next…or the next. Imagine, Dexter is hunting down a guy breaking into people’s homes, and what to his wondering eyes should appear but Santa Claus! It totally makes sense, and could act as the writer’s way of admitting to the audience that they’ve gotten lost somewhere around the season finale of season 4, and that people should stop watching Dexter for critical merits, and just enjoy a hammy show about a serial killer.
Also, Michael C. Hall already paved the way for this plot development by singing Santa Claus is coming to town on Jimmy Fallon.

2) The Walking Dead

The Walking Dead divides many, some believing that it’s far too slow, others believing that it’s a wonderful piece of zombie horror. But it seems to me that everyone is unanimous with just how depressing The Walking Dead is. Things quickly get bleak, and there has been no reprieve. So send Santa to the rescue.
Or don’t. Since it is the end of the world, Santa certainly won’t be paying a visit to the band of stragglers, developing psycho’s, and amusing hicks. The few remaining children could have a legitimate plot line about how Santa does not exist, and they could begin their path to maturity by realizing their childhood, and what they thought was going to be their future, is false, and that they’re in a new world of trial and tribulations and lots of gore.
Also, a zombie Santa could appear.

Seems about right

1) Justified

Justified, FX’s show with Timothy Olyphant as Raylan Givens, a badass US Marshall with a really big cowboy hat and a quick finger, is one of the best shows on television – a neo-Western set in the back woods of Kentucky. If you haven’t already watched it, you need to before season three premiers in January (who needs to study for exams when you can watch such a witty and action-packed show?).
Imagine how awesome it would be to have Raylan’s iconic cowboy hat going against Santa’s iconic hat in a showdown. Maybe a gangster would have dressed up as Santa to rob a store, or sell drugs to children, and he has to be stopped. The show has proven that it can write great, quippy dialogue, and the number of jokes about Christmas and Santa would be unbelievable.
There’s no clips of anything to do with Santa and Justified, so I thought I would close with a teaser for the new season, because everyone needs to see it.

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About Spencer Sterritt

Spencer Sterritt

Spencer Sterritt: former Editor-In-Chief for We Eat Films, future President of the Men With Beards Club, and hopefully candidate for ruler of the world.

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