Road to Halloween: Top 5 So-Bad-They’re-Good Horror Movies

Written by Guest October 29, 2012

Sometimes during the Halloween season you want a good laugh instead of a solid scare. What better way to accomplish this than to watch some absolutely terrible attempts of constructing horror that fall flat? Here are the five worst horror movies that are so bad that they’re good.

5.) “Jason X” (James Isaac, 2001)

“Friday the 13th” as a franchise is one of the laziest in all of film history. Beyond the first movie every movie goes like this: Jason Voorhees comes back and kills horny teenagers in and around Camp Crystal Lake. To reinvent itself the writers decided “what about space”? “Jason X” has Jason murdering teenagers in space and it is as hilariously bad as it sounds. It does feature one tremendously funny scene involving two girls being killed by sleeping bags in a hologram generated world however.

4.) “Halloween: Resurrection” (Rick Rosenthal, 2002)

The movie that The New York Post says is “so devoid of joy and energy it makes even ‘Jason X’ look positively Shakespearian by comparison.” This instalment to the once-good “Halloween” franchise has Busta Rhymes filming a reality TV-show about staying in serial-killer Michael Myers childhood home. Of course, Michael comes back and begins killing the horny teenagers. The premise and acting are weak and the film disregards many films in the past franchise as well as logic. The highlight of the film features Busta Rhymes coming to save the day by jumping into the house through the second-floor window.

3.) “Friday the 13th” (Marcus Nispel, 2009)

In an attempt to reboot the franchise, the writers decided the best way to do so was by trying to make Jason sympathetic as opposed to the mindless serial killer that he is. The typical formula of horny teenagers at Camp Crystal Lake being systematically slaughtered is still in place but this time Jason’s backstory of seeing his mother killed makes Jason easily fooled by any female who attempt to show a little dimension in their character. This movie stars Jared Padalecki, looking as if he got lost on his way to a “Supernatural” convention, trying to teach the teenagers to use their little bits of IQ to survive obvious situations.

2.) “House of the Dead” (Uwe Boll, 2003)

The adaptation of the light-gun shooter video games that appear in many movie theatre arcades is directed by the infamously terrible Uwe Boll (who has botched many other beloved video games). “House of the Dead” takes place on an island where a bunch of (you guessed it) horny teenagers are having a rave. The party is dampened by the arrival of zombies that begin killing everyone. There is a conspiracy involved in the creation of the zombies and the talk of an “immortality serum” but it, like every other aspect of the movie, is so choppy that it is hard to remember. The film is notorious for showing footage from the 1996 game during the action sequences. In 2003, the graphics are insanely outdated and all it does is cause the viewer to ask “why is a movie called “House of the Dead” taking place on an island?”

1.) “Manos: The Hands of Fate” (Harold P. Warren, 1966)

“Manos” (translated into Hands: The Hands of Fate) is one of the most infamously bad movies of all time. The central plot features a young family stopping by a house looking for directions when they discover a polygamist cult. A significant amount of time however is dedicated to showing a couple of horny teenagers making out in a car for an unknown reason as they do not factor into any of the other action in the movie. The acting is only a bit stronger than the lighting, writing and editing which are all abysmal. Every scene in this movie has something laughably bad about it which has helped it become one of the most notorious cult classics of all time. It is best to watch the “Mystery Science Theatre 3000” episode which features the entire movie being riffed brilliantly.

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