Anime Review: “Noir” – Facilement Oublié

Written by Alex Bowman July 03, 2014

"Noir"

When it comes to anime, you are bound to find at least one thing you like; there are a plethora of genres that Japanese anime has covered that doesn’t necessarily involve giant robots and nose-bleeding teenage boys seeing their first pair of boobies. Anime, for me, is great because it almost feels like a brand new way of seeing things, and each show is uniquely styled. “Noir” tries to do that and more by creating its own stylized genre but, unfortunately, fails to deliver on that promise.

 

The plot of “Noir” follows a young Corsican woman named Mireille who is an assassin-for-hire. Mireille stumbles upon a young Japanese girl, named Kirika, who has amnesia. The two begin to suspect that they may be related to each other in some way; Mireille’s earliest childhood memory is watching her mob parents get assassinated by a young girl that bears a striking resemblance to Kirika. The girls decide to team up, and search for the truth about what the hell is going on. They eventually realize that they have a history with a centuries-old secret organization called Les Soldats.

Coming this summer…GIRLS WITH GUNS!

The whole point of “Noir” was to try to create a new genre of anime called “girls with guns” where the female protagonists are the ass-kicking action heroes while the men were the ones to be objectified and rescued. This spawned off two other series that also spotlighted this new genre; “Madlax” (same thing, except it’s supernatural) and “El Cazador de la Bruja” (which is Spanish for “The Hunter of the Witch”). Eventually, these three series were the Holy Trinity of this new genre and paved the way for women in anime to be painted in a whole new way, literally.

"Noir"

Despite the immense influence this series claims to have, I just don’t like “Noir”. When I first heard about it, I was blown away by the immense praise it received from the anime community. I was under the impression that it’s ground-breaking, and I was immediately piqued. The first episode was a warning sign; after I hit the 20 minute mark, I felt like I had just watched paint drying for four hours. When doing research on “Noir” to refresh my memory on significant points in each episode, all I could say was, “Wait, when did that happen?”

Wake me up when it’s over.

“Noir” is, in my opinion, a mess from start to finish. The first problem I have is with the animation. It doesn’t have anything about it that sets it apart from other animes. The show tries way too hard, and going that extra mile is what makes it stumble. The two main leads are basically cardboard statuettes that elicit very little interest or engagement from the audience because they lack any type of emotion for us to attach ourselves with. The pacing is the final nail in the coffin; if you have a giant, raging stiffy for exposition than this series is definitely for you. If not, then abandon all attention span, ye who watch here.

"Noir"

The hype killed “Noir”. this anime is so forgettable I could not summarize a single episode. This new genre didn’t really cement itself as something iconic. “Noir” feels like an anime that’s trying too hard to capture lightning in a bottle, and instead captured a fart in a jar. It has bad pacing, bad animation, and a lack-luster story filled with forgettable characters. My vote is to skip it, and watch some real anime about bad ass women like “Ergo Proxy” or “Black Lagoon.”

My Rating: 4/10

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